Sophie Bosch-van Doorn - Author Happy around the Globe Guide, Nomilk2day Asia
Living and working in another country for an extended period comprises many highs and yes, some lows too. That experience led former expat and Asia enthusiast Sophie Bosch-van Doorn to create a guide that emotionally prepares prospective expats for the adventure. It covers stomachaches, the dip after the honeymoon phase, the right mindset, and all the beauty that expat life brings.
Sophie Bosch-van Doorn - author Happy around the Globe Guide
The Dutch Sophie Bosch-van Doorn can attest to the significant impact an assignment abroad has on one's life. Sophie gave up her job as a business consultant to follow her partner to Indonesia, Hong Kong, India, and France. Previously, she lived in Thailand during her studies. Drawing from these experiences and numerous encounters with expats, she wrote the guide Happy around the Globe Guide - 10 Principles for Happiness and Success when living Abroad. In it, she delves into the emotional aspects of expat life, something she discovered many adventurers are not adequately prepared for. 'A long-term departure to a foreign country has a profound impact on those who go. On the relationship itself, the careers of partners that come to a halt, the family left behind, the culture shock... It's quite intense. With my book, I guide prospective expats through that journey.'
Asia is your most favorite continent. How did that come about?
'I have a personal connection with many countries in Asia. I love the climate, the food, the culture... Many of the countries in Asia I have visited have been enriching. It's also very diverse; in India, for example, it's quite different from Hong Kong, Indonesia, or Thailand. These are also countries where almost everyone speaks English. That's different in France, where we also lived for a period. Learning a new language was a challenge for me, but for someone else, it could be a bonus. These are things to consider beforehand.'
What makes Asia a good destination for expats?
'Asia is a rapidly growing continent where a lot is happening and where things are well organized for expats. There are international schools and good healthcare. Most people speak English. Additionally, it's a beautiful region with the most stunning vacation spots nearby. Due to the many expats, especially in large cities, it feels very international. Quite pleasant, as the cultural difference is quite significant. No matter how fun and interesting the country is, most Westerners still tend to fall back on their own culture. You will meet people who are closer and in the same boat in expat groups that can be found in almost every expat destination. It can be an intense experience.'
You mentioned intense. Can everyone step out of their comfort zone for such an adventure?
'Everyone can take the step, but you have to make something out of it yourself. Can you imagine yourself living and walking around there? Then just do it. You will encounter practical issues, but they can be solved. If the idea already gives you a gut feeling, don't do it. With such significant changes, it's better to follow your instincts.'
What is a nice Asian country for beginners?
‘Singapore is called Asia light by expats; an easy expat destination. India, on the other hand, is seen as a hardship destination. It's a personal choice. For some people, Singapore might be too easy, they seek challenges and want to immerse themselves in local life with non-expats. It varies from person to person; some people can't settle anywhere, but the majority find expat life fantastic.’
What do you think is the most common reason for leaving?
‘Adventure is a good reason, but also career opportunities, better education, the pursuit of a different lifestyle, or simply wanting to live in a different climate. However, you often see that such a move is work-driven. Wanting to leave your country is not a good reason; you always take yourself with you. Somewhere else, you will encounter the same struggles. It's better to say from a positive drive; I would like to live in this particular country. Because emigrating is a stressful event. Everything changes: work, environment, and friends. Realize that it's not a vacation destination. Do you still like the relaxed attitude of the locals during your vacation, when you work there, it can suddenly be a challenge. Besides, other things become important, such as good education, good healthcare, easy connectivity, and affordable tickets for family and friends.’
A good start is half the battle, according to an old Dutch saying. Do you have tips for good preparation?
‘Start by reading up on the country you are going to. Know how things work there, understand the cultural differences, and ensure that practical matters are well taken care of. That significantly increases the chances of success. Find a home and school for the children that is manageable in terms of travel distance. In terms of kilometers, something may seem doable, but if in practice it means driving at a snail's pace for an hour and a half, it will wear you out. People sometimes underestimate that. In short, make it easy for yourself, because you will encounter enough challenges in an unfamiliar country.’
Doesn't sound very positive.
‘You're embarking on something great, but it's not all fun. Realize that. Also, know that every expat goes through the same phases. In the beginning, you're still in the honeymoon phase and everything is fantastic. Then comes a dip, but you'll get through it. Especially if you have like-minded people to talk to who know what it's like.’
What mindset is best then?
‘Flexibility is important. Everything changes, things happen differently than you're used to, and unexpected situations will undoubtedly come your way. Therefore, approach life with an open mind. Consciously enjoy positive things, even if they are small: the delicious food, the lovely sun, or the mangoes in your garden.’
But the benefits are more than worth it, aren't they?
‘Absolutely! It's a privilege to experience what it's like to live somewhere else and to have the adventure. The feeling of being alive, the wonder of discovering everything in a new country. This also makes you look at your homeland with different eyes. Your gratitude to both countries grows. The foreign experience often gave me a sense of happiness. It's just really cool! You experience crazy things and sometimes end up in situations that result in beautiful anecdotes. In your own country, life goes on, but somewhere else, you have so many highs and yes, also some lows. All these things will stay with you forever.’
What have you personally learned from those experiences?
'My perspective on the world has broadened. I have seen more and can relate to more things. For example, I now understand much better that how people are is strongly influenced by where they come from. Because of that, I can show more empathy more quickly.'
You are now back living in the Netherlands. What do you miss from your expat days?
'Well, it's a different life. Before you know it, you're back in the rat race. Dutch people are very focused on planning. There is little room for spontaneity. In Asia, it's different. Also, in the expat world, you make friends quickly; there is a sense of community. Once back, you can try to hold onto all that, but it doesn't work. That's a shame. Sometimes I miss the person I was when I lived in Asia. That's something many former expats experience.'
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